Blood Sugar

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

I dedicate this book to that one precious reason I need to live— my Sofia Clare Gabrielle. WARNING: This is a children’s book for sensible adults. Surprises bring out that child in me. The feeling of being innocent of what to happen draws excitement and challenges the faith that I have. Deep in my heart, this book is never a thing I thought I can make because with all my limitations I understand that I really cannot come up with this one. I can only play with words. To animate the message so as to touch the hearts of the readers will always be beyond my knack. This piece I will never claim mine alone because I am only a small fragment of the stories you are about to read. I give everything back to Him who has blessed me with fellows whom I love and love me; who hated me and then forgave me; whom I forgave and now learns to return forgiveness. This is also for you who have left a piece of yourselves in me. Remember that we and that child in each of us are th

Yes, you don't know.

Hi, Babylove. In a few days from now you’ll be 5 years old. I don’t know if you are now able to read and understand messages such as this. I don’t know and that’s my fault. I know where to go to personally see how you are doing. I’m sorry If I choose to keep things  this way--because this is the best way that I can love you for now. This way you have peace of mind. This way you are out of trouble. This way you don’t have to choose. This way the only wrong is me—none about you nor with the rest of the people you love. It has never been this saddest. This sadness cannot be compared to any degree of emptiness, loss and pain. But I have to take this and believe in God. Heaven knows I’ll trade the remainder of my life today just to see you in a minute that doesn’t cause you confusion and pain. Although apparently things are not yet ok, everything is being re-aligned by God. Slowly yet lovingly everything’s gonna be alright.  Someday, I’m going to see and hug you tight and te

I don’t say, “I’m glad it happened”. Neither will I ever say it in any future time. But it ought to happen. Reasons? So many. One is—so that I can rise for His glory. And that is the process I am presently striving for. I’m no longer counting the months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds, milliseconds… The process is undeniably painful but it’s worth every bit of stab, bite, punch, kick, strike, sting or whatever equivalent agony it can be. One very close cousin and a Franciscan Friar individually told me, “You are gonna write your story. It’s not gonna end today. You are just going to close this chapter and open a new one. And the book will inspire many because the story is going to be beautiful” These past 8 months (oops, I did count, anyway) have been the longest 8 months of my life. It is in this facet of my struggles that I’ve found and re-discovered people who had helped me fight the battle. And I am winning. No, not in the legal way because nothing in that